Sunday, 24 April 2016

Reality, Part II: Processed


I questioned, of course, tried to refuse. Tried to explain that I was indeed sane whilst sweating in an old jumper and trying to control the panic and disbelief that this was happening.

I tried rationality, calling my mother and offering to stay with her and seek the proof of a mental health assessment to offer reassurance. At first they seemed to listen, approving the idea, but after a quick phone call with her manager the emergency social worker refused.

\later I found out that this voice on the other end of the line was Kav, whose husband had worked with my abusive ex for years together at a local factory. Once he had followed me into an ally way, becoming aggressive and holding me in a place as he told me of a social work he knew and that one day a file would cross her desk and then they would have me. This was summer 2014, just before he moved into the problematic address, and a couple of weeks before my head injury. At the time I had thought it one of his empty threats, and though feared and a bit bruised, such occurrences were well normalised and I continued.

My mother arrived and gave me the number of a solicitor she had used in her divorce. I only got through to a secretary as it was out of hours. I was told I had no choice. To leave freely, or to try and take my son and be sectioned and/or arrested.

as i left with my mother something broke.

They came to the house and I pressed his blanket and the mother beast (though I forgot the cacoonses) and a few other special things he would need. I promised to supply them with an assessment, that I had a court order. They offered small pleasantries and mutterences and then left.

I called my GP and asked for an assessment, receiving an apt for the next day. 20 minutes before I left to attend the next morning Kav and a social worker from the previous day and had a quick tea and face to face introductions. They seemed reasonable and would want to know what the GP said. I said I wanted my son back and would need to know the dates of when she wanted to meet to complete her assessments, as I was sure that his being taken was not legal, and the the mental health allegations were evidenced against.

Digression:
Thing is, do you remember this post. Weird shit was going down, I had been hurt and those that hurt me that night tried again the night before mother's day 2015. I was spiked. Someone tried to stab me. It was chaotic and leery and I don't trust my memories of it. One of those I thought I could trust, after offering a bit of respite at his place, then also spiked me...again. Just about managing not to pass out I got a taxi and limped home.

apt1: My ribs were sore, and I still had difficulty breathing after a week or so, so popped for a check up with the nurse. I read fantasy, I know the risk of bone fragments migrating. My oxygen levels were good, but she wanted to get the GP to double check. I agreed and made the apt.

BIG MISTAKE

apt2: Now, my surgery, like most surgeries, is really busy. You take what apts are available, and I had never actually had an apt with my registered GP. I had presented as emergency with my injuries and been seen by who was available at the time. However, children's services, had been in contact and sown the seeds of negative bias. They assumed the nasty rumours were true and looked for verification.
"She says she has a head injury."
"I've never even seen her." {does not check medical file}
"So she is a liar, then. Dangerous too."
"Seems so."
This is the image that I walk into, thinking I'm just going for a second opinion. I'm immediately discredited, not believed about the assault and now with added extra's of apparent claims of sexual assault by the police. I am told that I am delusional and that he will make a referral to social services. He argues with me about a repeat prescription of anti-inflammatory and then claims he thought I was after something stronger. He talks to me like a misogynistic pig. Then he calls in a female doctor and ask me to strip for the examination of my ribs, pulling at my vest and not listening when I protest that I am not wearing a bra. The examination is cursory as his fingers touch my skin, not the parts that are injured. I leave in shock. This was the morning of the day my son was taken.

apt3: My mother had arrived again that morning to be there for the cuppa with Kav and came along to this apt. This time it was the GP who had been treating my head injury and the general practitioner manager. I requested a MHA. They put the referral through on emergency and asked me if I thought I needed help. I clarified that I needed proof, and I needed to get my son home. he said he just wasn't sure with me, and looked at me sideways. (Some men are intimidated by a woman's intellect, or a woman pursuing oversight of adequate medical care for a serious injury and and gynecological issues the realistic instance of which men still doubt in the older medical community. Thank fuck for women, junior doctors and modernisation of medical research...oh wait, no, the government are screwing them over too.)

My mother and I return to her house, the dogs need feeding and I make numerous phone calls to seek legal advice; all of which is that my son should be returned, I was clearly quite rational, during this the MHA team got in contact and then promptly arrived and conducted the assessment. "No concern, return the child." As soon as it was completed the phycjiatiric nurse went to sit in her car and let Kav know. When she returned it was revealed my abusive ex had already picked my son up from school moments before and that the Caffcass officer had cleared him for access and was writing the report for court.

Thinking to minimise the strangeness for my son of having been pulled out of class early and given to his paternal grandparents in the presence of the police, I suggested that we followed the timescale of access in the court order. My son would be returned Sunday 5pm. The MH team concurred this was a sensible approach and I confirmed with Kav, giving my permission for the results of the MHA to be shared, she said my abusive ex noted "that's good to know" and that if he should not return my son and I contacted the police to get the court order enforced she "would have to say there was no reason not to return him.".

I offered the paternal family a meeting.

Eventually they contacted back, refusing to say how my son was, and delaying. My abusive ex offered to meet in the pub one of my rapists worked. He then told me he would not be bringing my son home.


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