Showing posts with label Short Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Short Story. Show all posts

Friday, 30 May 2014

The Collective Conscious

   My writer's circle and I started this story, and I need your help to finish it.

Essentially we took a rather amazing story prompt and ran with it, each developing characters and story ideas following the last post. We've got a good set up, lots of tasty, tangible threads to play with....and almost no rules.

Its speculative fiction. Don't hem yourself in, explore, be brave, be creative.

Be diverse.

Keep posts to a roughly same length. I'm not going to give you a word length, write what you need to write but consider flow and others contributions.

The story needs meat, needs a hefty middle.

This is about sparking off one anothers creativity, reveling in constraint and twisting the truths that already lie.

Have fun!

***


   It was cold, though that wasn't the worst thing. It was also cramped, wet, foetid, claustrophobic and dark, but none of these were the worst things either. To Richard Sinclair, the worst part of the whole damn trip was the waiting. He'd been aboard the USS Penitence for nearly a fortnight, en route from the base at McMurdo, and before that the Antarctic wastes. When he was selected to be part of the mission he'd been excited, but after unearthing the resting place of expedition 42A7, and the secrets they had been pursuing, he became driven, desperate to return home and report on the nature of their discoveries. They couldn't trust anyone, certainly not even the most secure of communications, not in that hemisphere at least.

Now, only a few hours out of Naval base at Kings Bay, he was nervous. Would his superiors believe him? He had scant evidence, barely making out of that hell-hole alive with more than half the team buried under the infinite white of the Antarctic tundra, but the fragment was everything. Secured in his footlocker he hadn't dared examine it 'til they were at full depth, and well under way,just in case his resolve had failed him. The little he had translated was... He couldn't even consider the enormity of it all.

And in four hours he had to tell a board of the highest ranking members of the military and some of the most powerful members of US government that everything they had based their lives on, the tenets of their religions and the fundamentals of their science... Was wrong.

He'd been wrong too, Richard realised. The very worst part of this trip would be to finish it.
 
Simothy Quayle
 *
The old man  wheezed out stiff plumes of laughter. He had long abandoned the narrowed vision of his hood in favour of the sight that so delighted him. The women sleek and predatory glided about their victim. Soft snow muffled over hard ice, the dimming white glared at the vibrant hue of spilt blood, tracked inwards of time whilst the struggle continued outwards. The women’s speckled leathers form fitting and stark, puffs
of white hair like angry clouds mounting their heads. Their dark creased and crinkled faces puffing, breath matching dying breath of the fat snow leopard.

A mournful bellow marked her passing. The old man, and the women too, listened gravely, as was fitting. The wind was rising. Shrieking over ocean and land, and ice that blurred the two, it bore stolen snow. The women swiftly swarmed the felled beast. His women. His people. People those soft skinned northerners didn’t know existed. Despite their poking, and digging, and measuring, and dying. Despite their houses built above the ice, despite their terrible iron hulls, despite their fouling of the frozen purity.
That would change soon.
The women left him the heart, still luxuriously warm, and strips of fatty flesh already freezing. They rubbed their round heads over him and he could see the signs glycopeptides rising in them too. The rest they took. The old man burrowed into his little place, subterranean light rippling, the blizzard would overtake him soon. He sucked the life blood from the heart whilst he still could. His eyes rested on the gift. He grinned a bloody grin. Old Ernest left whiskey in his wake as penguins left shit. When they passed through the convergence his people knew it was nearly time.
The old man waited. 
Ashley Fox
 


The sun was rising. The only indication she had of this was from the gap of light pouring through her bedroom curtain. She stretched, tried to swallow and choked. Her throat was beyond dry. She knew she needed a drink. The ropes around her wrists had started to itch and she desperately wanted to scratch at them. The ones around her ankles had long become sore and had started to bleed. How long had she been here? Well, by the look of the untouched food rotting on the plate on her bedside table she'd say six maybe seven days? She'd lost count. Time seemed to weave itself  into her nightmares. After the second day she'd stop screaming, after the fourteenth she'll stop caring.

The door creaks open and she quickly shuts her eyes feigning sleep. Her heart beats so hard she swears he can hear it through the dirty sheets. She feels a weight on her side of the bed and refuses to open her eyes, fear beating at her nerves. The hair on her face is gently brushed back and it takes all she has left in her not to scream. A tear escapes it's hiding place and it's over. He knows. She has to open her eyes now, otherwise...

“Good morning Amy”

“Urgh” she croaked, her eyes darting quickly at the covered face and back towards her door.

He was wearing a different mask today. One she hadn't seen before and one that was by far the creepiest. She tried not to memorise it's lines like she had done with all the others. She'd seen so many they all blurred into one and made a distorted face every time she closed her eyes.

Rachel McKensie

*
 The markings were what frightened him the most.

Of course they were letters, Richard could see that now. But when he pulled the fragment of tarnished metal from the corpse of a frozen naval officer - the icy flesh unyielding at first, as if it had enclosed around the object - Richard had dismissed the words as scratches. Nothing more. Scratches rent into the material as it tore through the ship's hull and ripped into the abdomen of the corporal. But as Richard held the fragment in frost-bitten fingers, the symbols became brighter, more vivid, and warmer beneath his grasp.

The symbols swam and danced under his gaze, undulating like waves lapping at the ship. Richard felt a throbbing deep within the core of his being. It felt like a the pulse of distant drums.

In the quiet solitude of his quarters, with the door bolted to deter unwanted intruders, Richard opened his footlocker and unwrapped the metal shard from an old jumper. It was cool to the touch, and as he
held it, it warmed like skin beneath his fingers. The metal itself was unfamiliar to him, light and strong. More akin to bone than iron. The object was shaped like a paddle, or a wide, flat blade. The edges were
smooth. No tool marks on its surface; it was almost entirely unblemished, as if the strange markings had grown organically. Like mushrooms. Or bacteria.

Richard brought a handkerchief to his mouth and coughed into it. He shuddered with effort of it and felt a sharp, coppery taste against his tongue. The hieroglyphs glowed under the harsh, yellow light of
the halogen lamps, but Richard was afraid to extinguish the light in case the symbols remained illuminated.

It made no sense. How could such an object exist? There had never been any settlements on this continent. No indigenous populations. Not so much as a hot dog stand. And yet...

The symbols seemed to be grouped into words, though the language was inconsistent. There were certain elements which resembled classical Latin, while other letters appeared to derive from Cyrillic Script. Others emulated the calligraphy of ancient Persian. Richard knew little of languages, though certain symbols felt warmer than others as he passed his fingertips over them, feeling the grooves they made in
the metal.

For three days now, Richard had been studying at the fragment, willing it to disgorge its secrets. After hours of careful study, five of the runes had formed a pattern that chilled Richard beyond expression. DEATH, it read.

It seemed, they were not alone. 
 
*
 'Is there anything else I can get you?' asked Tamara on her way out. 
 'How are you for time machines?' replied Richard his eyes not leaving the screens above the dashboard.

    Closing the hatch behind her, Tamara Coil straightened up and gave a quick nod to the sentry outside. His cheeks were rosy but Tamara reasoned that it had everything to do with her being the only plain- clothed female aboard. Besides, as Mansons' understudy she would of course be spending unruly hours alone with him. And what discoveries they had made. Death, the end being misunderstood by science as closure when really mortalities final stasis is in actual fact a barrier.

Her inner voice was in barely controlled hysterics, shooting out the social ramifications of the recently gathered the evidence not to mention....well... As she attempted to squeeze away the violence pulsating across her frontal lobe, Tamara had found herself once again confused by the labyrinthine nature of
Penitences' winding lime causeway's. Her breath was noticeably short.
 'You O.K mam?' said Oppenheimer.
'Oh, you know, this place. I'm all good thank you.' replied Tamara
doing her damnedest to talk to Oppenheimer's face and not his chefs hat.
'How is tonight's special going?'
'Oh you know,' he said with a humble but playful smile,
 'This place...if you saw who I had to work with'
    Tamara returned the friendly expression. The chef continued, 'I'm not saying that this is a five star restaurant but Toby should be flipping burgers. Mark my words, that boy will start another
fire.'
    
Tamara wanted to chuckle but she kept it in settling for a grin saying, 'Last nights lasagne was good.'
 'Merely Good?,' retorted Oppenheimer, 'I aim for special. Don't tell me your taste-buds are not the delicate receptors I imagine Fräulein?'
'Your imagination is doing overtime O.' replied Tamara with a slight wave heading back the way she'd come.
   
'How is your special going?' shouted Oppenheimer.
Tamara felt her headache swell, 'I'd rather be cooking lasagne.' She said without returning his gaze.
    
'You scientists. You don't really mean that.' laughed the cook on his merry way.
And he was right thought Tamara envisioning the runes on Richards fragment.
    
They looked more like scars.  
 'Shit!' voiced Tamara a little too loudly. One of her buttons were undone.
The rose coloured cheeks of the sentry outside Sci Ob deck A filled her with a desperate gnawing pang. 
*
“Fishy, fishy, fishy! Blop, blop, blop. Fish-wishy-in-a-dishy, splish, splash….SPLOSH!”

She let her laughter bubble out as loud as she could, giving a really, really good shrieeeeeeeek at the end.Her Nana pulled her squashy face (the one where she is unhappy but still  thinks it’s a bit funny) and turned the dial in her ear. Her mash was mounded up like an iceberg with her chip fish swimming round it, and her fish finger boat had just set sail through her sea of peas. She giggled. Chips that pretended to be fish, and fish that pretended to be fingers. Nana was right, this world was a fucked up world. She darted a guilty glance at her Nana, who was just sitting there not seeing anything, before she remembered she couldn’t hear inside her.But you could never be sure with grown ups.

“Has mummy caught her baby yet? I cant wait to meet my sister! Letita
has a sister, but her sister is just normal, my sister is special.”

Her Nana twiddled the dial again and her hands crabbed across the table in search of her glasses. She always did this so Mia choose that moment to stuff a whole fish finger in her mouth. And she HAD to eat with her mouth open so she could breathe.
“Mia bee, your mother isn’t catching babies. Remember? She is a special scientist, she’s been visiting the penguins, and they have been showing her secrets.”
Mia looked at Nana, they both knew she was right but sometimes Nana got too sad to talk properly.
“I know that Nana! Silly. You told me, I remember. Because I’m going to be special too, and Mummy is finding the truth. And making a baby.”
“I think you will see your Mummy very soon, my love. Would you like that?”
“Yes…but…I love you too, Nana. As long as I don’t have to go to the ice, my legs will fall off and my hair will turn into ice cream!”
“Ice cream! But then all the seals will chase you trying to lick you!”
“I know! And I cant run if I got no legs. Then they will like my head right off! Then who’s gonna look after my sister?”
“Oh you are a silly billy, Mia bee. Give me a kiss.”
Coz Nana had that sad, tired look again Mia abandoned her dinner and climbed up Nana like a mountain. Then she wrapped her arms tight around her, squeezing as hard as she could so Nana would feel how much she loved her and gave her an extra long kiss.

It was almost light when she got up. Her belly woke her, growling like a beastie. She was careful walking down the corridor, mustn’t walk through the dark stripes. Like a stretched out tiger, so stretched out all the good colour had faded away just leaving the boring bits. And the scary bits that felt like her yucky dream. She had an accident when the toast went POP and dropped the jam. When Nana did that she did this big whoosh breath, huff huff huff. So Mia went huff huff huff as she tried to push it back in the jar. Most of it went in and coz her hands were all jammy she just wiped them on the toast. Knives were not for little girls, only grown ups. She got out the milk and poured an extra big glass, after she put it back in the fridge she forgot about her hands and pushed her snarly hair out of her eyes. Ooops.
Getting down from the chair was hard, but she only dropped the toast once. Then tip toe down the corridor, the milk kept jumping out the glass. Stupid milk. Nana was still in bed, so she put the plate and glass on the little table. There was only a little milk left but she didn’t think Nana would mind.
“Nananananananananananaaaaaaaaa! Wake up! Rise and Shine! Mia’s here!”
She took a running jump onto the bed, the cover slipped a bit and she nearly fell, but she grabbed Nana’s arm and finally, finally got up.

“Nan! Nan! Nan!”
Nana dint move. Not one little bit. She was cold and a funny colour… sort of dull, faded like the tiger.
“Nana?” Mia’s voice whispered. She crawled up to Nana’s face and
stroked it. Her skin was still so soft and wrinkly like an old balloon. But she didn’t move, or open her eyesor go Boo! She just lay there.
Nana was gone. Mia knew. She couldn’t feel her. Mia hadn’t thought she’d leave so soon.
She moved Nana’s arm and got under the blanket. They did this sometimes if Mia was being a grumpy bum in the morning. They’d get back in bed and cuddle. It didn’t feel as nice now, but Mia was crying and her heart felt like it had burst. Lots later when the sun had his hat on the fat lady who helped Nana came round.She always just walked in. She found Nana and Mia still in bed. The fat lady started screaming and hollering and crying. Then everything went crazy and Mia decided to ignore them all. All the people coming in her house, poking at her Nana, telling her what to do. Stupid people in their stupid uniforms. Till the calm man came.
He was different. He ignored the others too and just watched her quietly for awhile.
“Hello Mia. My name is Lewis. Do you understand what has happened?”
“Yeah.” Mia had stopped crying ages ago.
“I’m sorry for your loss little one. You are being very brave. I work for the same people as your Mummy. I’m going to take you to a place where your Mummy will come and get you in a few days. Is that ok?”
“No. She wont come. Don’t you know about the secret yet? You are going to take me to her.”
“No Mia. Your Mummy will leave her work, after…this.”
“No, Lewis. She can't. You will take me. But we’ll have to get Amy first.”
“Is Amy your pet?”
“No! Amy is…never mind. Shhhh.”
“Ok Mia. But first I think we need to give you a bath, hey? You’re all
sticky!”
“I’m not sticky anymore. I’m crusty and tangled and got fluff stuck on me. Nana would call me a scraggle head.”
Lewis was smiling at her, to show he was her friend. But Mia knew, he had a shark smile. She had seen him in her yucky dream with blood on his hands. Mia took his hand, and when he stood up she saw the banger under his black jacket. Mia smiled, she needed a bad man, she knew he would get her to her Mummy. 
Ashley Fox
*
    Richard was back in his study. Reassured by the comfortable surrounds of his Boston home he allowed a pent up sigh to rise from his chest and surge past his teeth. He dropped into the chair behind his desk and began to sort through the clutter that had arisen in his absence. Flicking through the letters placed in his in tray, one with familiar handwriting caught his eye. Opening the envelope in one swift movement he withdrew the letter from the ragged seam. He smiled as his suspicions were confirmed. It was from his sister, Marcy.

It reported, in painstaking handwriting, that she, her husband Brian and their children were well. Whilst Richard had never married, nor did he really entertain the idea, he enjoyed being the favourite (if only) uncle to little Thomas and Sarah. The letter continued on to say that Brian's job was going well, a few successful tenders resulting a bonus, which in turn gave them funds to plan a trip for them all to Disneyland, of which he was not to speak to the children as it was a surprise. Marcy had also apparently taken up her painting again, after a hiatus of nearly a decade, the results of which she bemoaned, derided and critiqued, but admitted to perhaps having a small showing in a few months to which he was cordially invited. There were the usual polite enquiries into his work and health, and more pointed ones regarding, as she put it, him romancing a suitable 'lady brain' to which she ascribed his future happiness. He laughed at her continued determination in the face of his recalcitrant bachelorhood. She signed off with the suggestion that he should, when convenient, arrange to come stay with them for a few days as she so rarely so her favourite (if only) younger brother.

Still smiling he placed the letter to one side and made a mental note to call her in the evening to catch up. He opened and digested the remaining correspondence until he came across a small packet, previously buried under mail at the bottom of the tray. In plain brown parcel paper it was stamped with a US Navy postmark, but bore no return address. The label had been typed hurriedly on a typewriter, the ink smudged and letters double stamped as mistakes were corrected. He had a terrible sense of deja vu as he pulled open the paper, even though he could not recall anything from memory. Contained within was a small, battered journal and a sheet of folded notepaper, which was blank except for the headed print declaring it to be from McMurdo Antarctic US Naval Research base. Before he even opened the journal he knew it's contents. It contained the last recorded notes of Regis Morley, Professor of Esoteric Histories at Harvard, who had been Richard's own teacher once upon a time. He realised the source of the deja vu.

This was all nought but a memory. A dream. In actuality he was aboard a submarine, a scant few hours out of Kings Bay. He looked up in sadness at the now sunset filled study, dust dancing in the shafts of golden light arcing in the windows. He didn't want to leave this moment of solace and return to the cruel truths of reality. Shadows moved as the sun faded. One in particular detached from the wall and leapt at it him, tentacles and teeth and venomous hatred. He barely had chance to scream.

Gasping and coughing, Richard awoke. He hacked and heaved onto his hand, blood wetting his knuckles as his lungs spasmed. The fog of sleep cleared, taking with it detail, but leaving the sense of horror and fear. Looking down he realised he had slumped asleep across the artefact, only partially masked by the torn sheets he had swaddled it in. Desperately he covered it up, not wanting to see it's alien surface.

A siren sounded and a call came over the tannoy. They were surfacing. Richard began stuffing his notes and belongings into his pack, the object dropped smartly into a satchel. In doing so he caught sight of himself in the quarters sole mirror. Pale skin highlighted the unshaven stubble on his cheeks, cherry red blood smeared across his face. Rubbing his face clean with his sleeve he wondered what fresh hells the next 24 hours would bring.
Simothy Quayle
*
   Mia pressed her face against the little circle of plastic. It was cool and thin. She pushed it a bit, but it didn’t fall through. She giggled at this, it sounded all flat in her ears. The seat belt was digging into her tummy, but she didn’t care, kneeling higher and twisting her head so she could see everything.
Blue, blue, blue! Sparkling gold on the white wings, chopping through big, fluffy clouds. If she twisted enough she could just see the ground so far, far below. She felt like the giant up his bean stalk. Except there was no green here. Nana had got her a rug that looked like that, with little twisty rivers and roads.
She used to talk about God with Nana. She remembered her Nana always looked so sad, she used to say “I don’t recognise God anymore”. People said that God was the boss of heaven. Mia thought that the sky was really pretty, and it was fun to see everything like a bird, but she thought it was empty. There wasn’t a big juicy green vine to climb down on, and the gold was just sunshine. It was like her Nana gone in her bed. If dead people went to heaven, why did it feel the same as the bodies when they were gone?
Mia wiped her cry’s away sucking her salty finger after.
“What do you want to be when you grow-up, Mia bee?” Her Nana had asked her that on the last bedtime.
“Lightning or maybe a Transformer.”
It was nice remembering her Nana now. 
Lewis was taking on the fone again, all grumpy and jittery. He told her that they had to go see her Mummy’s boss before they could take her too her Mummy. She knew that something was wrong, Lewis tried to hide it from her. But she knew that this was the only way she would get to her Mummy in time. Lewis was a bad man, but her was her bad man, with his gun. Gun. He would protect her.
Mia smiled at him, feeling sad. Lewis looked at her, not talking for moment, his eyes like glass. She looked back out of the window at just clouds and blue and sunshine. Heaven. Nah. Maybe people thought God was good and in heaven coz he was like her Nana. A memory. She was like her Nana too, they
had the same black eyes. So was she like God as well? Was heaven the
nice feeling?
“When I’m grown up, Nana, I’m gonna be God.”.
Ashley Fox
 

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

The Ghosts & Graffiti of the Red Mount Chapel




The Red Lady worships,
far from war and the world outside.




To the mother of god, whose
bones wait,
guarding secrets in the depths




Into the chapel did echo,
 a tap tapping.
From the door that led below.




Insidiously her perception slipped
from prayer.
Such certain fear.



Never again was she seen. Though they found
 blood trailing wetly,
gauges in the stone.


Leading down into the dark
where, they say,
you can still hear her screaming.


Such softly spoken ghost stories
lingered on, luring
the daring and the foolish.

1725 Ranford, 1682 RD, 1686 John, EB, Story

One such was a drunken fiddler
his faithful dog

1754 M.B. Arne, Ian

Long at port and brave
with boredom, he sought
the tunnels on a dare.

1695 RLSN, Seth + Garrard

Ignoring the warning whine,
hackles raised,
he played a tune to soothe the dark.

1885 Owen

And so still his ghost does wander,
when the mist is high.
His tune passing underground.

 1958 Inky

It may even be that you espy
a hound sitting by the chapel door,
fur dripping blood.



   These were the ghost stories I grew up with, told breathless on grey days with damp hair and scuffed shoes. They are as true as such things are.


Friday, 22 March 2013

Short Story: Somebody Else


Due to be published in the Fox Pocket Anthology: In an Unknown country by Fox Spirit in 2015


Sunday, 1 April 2012

Short story. "Have you got Talent, World?"

 The brush slides through her long hair with a gentle susurrus, maintaining a peaceful quite about her; one that could not be broken , not even by the nervous pacing of her mother. In fact she quite enjoyed the friction of such frenetic emotions against her silence. The brush caught violently against a snarl, with gentle fingers she parted her long locks, bringing the knot into the warm afternoon light. Behind her, her mother once more snatched up the white envelop from the counter, knocking over a bottle from the myriad unguents and cosmetics that lay scattered about it. Slowly her fingers worked on the knot, easy out looser threads of hair. The paper of the envelope gasped as it was opened, the Worlds Got Talent backstage passes checked and roughly loved.

    With a last pull the knot was unravelled, she once more resumed her strokes.

“Are you sure you want to do this? It’s not too late too stop this, I will support you, whatever your choice.”

She placed the brush into a patch of sunlight and looked into the mirror, meeting her mother’s reflected eyes.

“I am sure of who I am.”

Her mother’s face was old before it’s time, once beautiful, but sorrows and hardship had made a map of her features.

“ I…I don’t understand. I try…but…”

Her eyes were brown, but blown black with her anger, with her sadness and, worst of all, her fragile mocking hope.

“I know. I love you.”

“I love you too. Is that enough?”

“It is a good start. Help me with my dress?”

   Her mother flashed her a small smile, comfortable with such a normal thing. It had taken so long to find the right outfit. Is a dress too feminine, or embracing her sexuality, or would trousers give her more authority, or would that be embracing patriarchal prohibitions? Is white too standard a colour of innocence, red of whorishness, purple of assumed royalty and arrogance? Should she follow fashion to show her modernity, or go for a timeless classic (at the risk of seeming outdated?)

“You look lovely.” Her mother said, pressing a hand to her cheek. The familiar smell and feel of her was comforting.

“Are you ready?” She asked her, her own hand around her mother’s waist.

“I think so. It will be so very hard though. Everyone will want you, so many will take great pleasure in trying to hurt you. How am I supposed to protect you from that? I’m scared that you will leave me behind, that you will change so much that I do not recognise you anymore…”

“People do not recognise me now, and when they do it will take awhile before they admit to it. It will be very hard, but there will always be one, undeniable constant; that I am your daughter.”

   Her mother sat with a huff, resigned to what was to come, absently running her fingers around the laminated edge of the passes.

“I still think your colour’s going to be a problem.”

She laughed and waved her brown hands about.

“We’ve all been mixed race, people just like to conveniently forget that when they’re asserting their own right’s of dominance. I wonder what colour I will be in a couple of hundred years?”
Her mother arched a brow.

“And you’re a girl.”

“Certainly am! Its even my time of the month!”-she ducked a lipstick thrown in giggling rebuke- “ Daddy finally realised sons weren’t working out. I mean, some of them did a good job while they were around…but. Didn’t really last did it? Things are a bit muddled up now. In fact it’s a shambles.”

“Things were different then, don’t be too hard on them.”

“Exactly. Not only am I, as a woman, understanding of a strong natural link with the world, with creation, with the future (not merely one of transience), I also have more adequate tools. All those lovely mediums. “ She tipped an outrageous wink.

“A terrible pun, but do go on.”

“Ideas are better suited to survive in these times, if they hold enough weight to settle through to swift fluff that clogs up our thoughts. They can be shared instantly across the world, they are defiant of borders and governments and bias. The truth will evolve, as is its wont, but the core will always be accessible to those who seek it, easily accessible.”

  Her mother’s hair blazed in the sunshine, the light trembling as she slowly shook her head; not in denial it seemed, but at the complexities that would confound her.

“I’m not entirely convinced. You might be voted out in the first round!”

   A door opened in interruption. A wave of shouts, distant thumping of bass music, random jingles, honking and general blarings carried a caricature of a hip business woman on it’s crest. Eyes fastened to her clip board she thrust herself (and two unasked for cups of steaming coffee) between mother and daughter. Branded plastic bags of gauche swag were unceremoniously thrown on the beauty counter, spilling out T-shirts and key-rings with her face on them under the questioning slogan “ Worldly Talents?”.  As her mother glared and puffed up at the new-comer, who was mumbling and ticking off requirements on her clipboard, she pondered the rather unfortunate connotations and placement of the slogan, and firmly decided not to wear hers. Except maybe when she was old as a sort of irony/humble origins piece. If she wasn’t sacrificed that is.

“Right then, congratulations, good luck! Are you excited? Nervous? Relax! You’ll have a good time. Hair and make-up will be…oh! Have they been already? That damn…sorry. Actually this is great! We’ve been a bit pushed...but now...ok! Mike; check ha”

The woman’s fingers flashed, pinched and scurried over her blouse, back and ear. The weight of the mike and battery pack took longer to settle.

“Look up lovely: The light is red, when it is green its time to get the show on the road. Open you door, quickly, very quickly, follow the runner who will be outside, they’ll take you to the stage entrance and count you in. Then its down to you! Bye”

The woman rather dangerously stuck her head back into the room just as the door was about to slam shut, a puzzled look in her eye.

“When you’re being counted in look out at the audience; your eyes wont be so startled by the lights when you have to go in front of them…Good luck!”

A gentle quiet once more grew in the room, both seemed content settle into it for a moment. She ran her fingers over the silken, overly bright petals of the scent-less flowers. Her mother absently pawed through the gift bags.

“Know one of the challenger’s I’m looking forward too?”

“ mmm?”

“The scientists.”

“Oh?”

“I’m going to tell them it’s a good thing ‘God’ doesn’t like to paint ‘his’ toenails!”

Her mother despondently took off the large foam hat moulded into a rough likeness of her daughter, and met her eyes.

“And what if you go out in the first round?” So typically tactless and stubborn she roused a surge of love in her mortal heart.

“ Because I’m going to give them what they want. I’m going to fulfil a predetermined role.”

Her mother’s eyes were dark and serious. She smiled a secret smile in return.

“I’m going to be the prophet.”

The smile disappeared.

“And I’m going to show them the use of a prophecy, that it is not an inescapable future, that they are not a countdown, but a warning, and offering.”

Her mother’s tears flowed down familiar groves.

“Tonight there are two terrorist groups, in two different countries, of different affiliations who will commit atrocities that will be spoken of in every corner of this world. There is a man with a basement full of children, his club, which he will open tonight. Cherub’s it is called. There is a nurse who will poison an entire hospital. There is an president who will command the release of a virus that will kill thousands before the vaccine is made available for sale. I will name all of these. I will call out to them to stop. I will tell them of wise people they may go too, who will help them, who will weigh justice.”

“You will rely on their goodness?!”

“No. I know that at least one will turn. Their story will come into the light, and there will be uproar. If the other’s do not turn, the authorities will have to investigate the them, the people will demand it.”

“And what if they don’t?”

“Ah…I understand your fears…I share them. These…deaths will happen if I do nothing. All those awful variables are in motion, across the globe. Tonight I may be able to save some, and in saving them awaken others. Even their deaths would vindicate me, though it would be a terrible vindication. The worst is, if the worst wasn’t the most likely outcome, then I wouldn’t be here.”
Her mother sniffed and wiped her face. So conflicted a visage, the numbness of her cheeks spoke of long years of hopelessness, of her acceptance of a painful outcome, and yet the softness of her mouth spoke of hope yet to come.

“My daughter, please don’t hurt yourself too much. There is only so much one heart can bear.”

With a grating buzz the light turned green.

“I love you.”

“I love you”.

   Tightly wound about one another they squeezed the message home, snatched a last moment of old.

   The door opened and she was pulled along a swift tide of babble before she had even set her foot down. Dark corridors, endless fat cables snaking and twisting along, a barren, flashing landscape constricting about her. Just as suddenly she rocked to a halt, brushing the dark uniform of the runner who now ticked dutifully. She let her eyes wander out into the auditorium, the lights stabbing into her. The audience ooh’ed and ahh’ed at her VT. Her mother’s enormous face pale and tearstained, telling them of her daughters conception. Of the day she was raped by a faceless man, raped, throat slit and left for dead. The image cut to one of them sharing a pot of tea and laughing in the garden. A close up of their joined hands, light and dark, before the camera panned round. It lingered over her breasts and mouth freshly moistened. At last it cut to the promo shots, the runner hastily checked her mike, gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder and pushed her onto the stage.

   She did not stumble, or blink confusedly, just walked serenely onto the taped X like a nonchalant pirate. She did not smile, not yet. The judges were arrayed in glitter, arrogance and gaudy colours behind their painfully modern desk. She did not look at them, they were irrelevant. Instead she sought out her audience, covertly scoped out the location of the cameras.

“At last, a pretty one! One more bucktooth and I was going to protest!”

The audience dutifully laughed, but seemed distracted.

“So young one, perhaps you are a singer? What have you got for us tonight?”

The judges faces contorted in pantomime waiting. The audience gazed at her, becoming quieter, still, waiting. She let it build, let them look at her, take her in. She met their eyes, not defiantly, not arrogantly. But open, open wide.

“I am the Daughter of God.”

Saturday, 29 January 2011

Fiction: Short Story: "Diary of Darkness"

August 28th
Dear Diary
Bloody hell that sounds so lame! Dear diary? Reader? Why is starting something so hard? I don’t like dear diary but for now it’ll do. Its weird now there’s some words on the page it isn’t quite so scary! I’m such a fucking idiot. Idiot. I’m sorry (mystery reader?) this is the first time I’ve ever had a diary. Weird, huh? It was my birthday the other day and my boyfriend brought it me. I’m now 21, a proper adult! That was one fucking mental weekend, my come downs only just got manageable, you know what I mean? But I doubt you do, oh so normal reader. Because there’s something you don’t know about me, about my life, about the whole goddamned world.
It’s full of monsters.
September 2nd
Mystery Reader
I suppose I should explain some more, introduce to the family as it were. : )
Well we live in the city, moved up about a year a go, after I met the love of my life. My stuck up parents hated us, so we cut that shit off pretty fast, but that’s the boring bit. He’s amazing. A-fucking-mazing. I always knew I was different to everyone else, id watch them walking around, eating their food, going to work, paying their bills. Normal, like nothing was wrong. No one could see what I saw, feel what I felt. The world is dull, grey and misty, them like ghosts walking through it, unseeing, beneath their feet...a great swirling vortex of black. BLACK. Sometimes little bits, tendril like, slipped up into the grey, into a ghost person. And they didn’t even notice, oblivious to that dark infection suffocating their inner fire.
And most terrible of all, I knew I was infected too.
Then I met him, he blazed in the grey. He saw it too, he felt it. I knew straight away that he was my soul mate, and he promised to not let the darkness swallow me. I owe him my life. He is beautiful.
I could write about him forever! But I guess other than the love you should know something else. He’s a werewolf. Things get a bit hairy sometimes (ha) specially at the full moon, when its harder to control, but it saves him from being infected, he wasn’t sure until I told him, he cant see the way I do, none of them can. I don’t really have any special powers, except for that, and feeling so intensely.
The house we live in is a shared house, a safe house for supernaturals. It’s owned by a master vampire, tall black man who knows how to pull a serious aura. I know I probably shouldn’t say it, but it took me ages to get used to him, when I first met him I couldn’t stop staring at his hair. Id never seen afro hair before (he keeps his short to match the suit) just weren’t that many black guys in my town. His natural glamour kept making me want to touch it, but my bf knew to touch me, he wasn’t being possessive or anything, it just helps my defences. We don’t see him that much, I don’t think he likes the others ands happy as long as he gets his rent.
The others are preeeeety dodgy, leme tell you. There’s 5 rooms, we’ve got one upstairs. Downstairs what used to be a living room and dining room are now bedrooms. In the old living room, Room 1, is Tank. He’s a demon. I’m scared shitless of him. He’s fucking massive, proper ripped, skinhead always in a leather jacket. You know the white supremacist type. Got loads of tats with arcane meanings. He’s also a drug dealer. A drug dealer demon is NOT someone you wana fuck with, I always smile when I see him but really don’t like chatting. He’s friends with my bf tho.
In Room number 2 (old dining room) is Kesh. He’s young too, like me. A looker, if you like the skinny types, long dark hair and pale skin. He can’t really help that though, it’s like a side affect. He’s a vampire. He’s covered his walls in posters of metal bands and got these supa thick curtains, stays there all day. At night he deals for Tank, not really sure what. Powdered somethings. Always bringing his victims back here, pretty grimy girls from the clubs mostly. I see them leave sometimes, a little blood splattered. See Kesh is pretty much a good guy, but he’s gotta eat. And he’s hardcore.
Upstairs with us, oh we’re room 3! In Room 4 dwells Barry the Cult Goon. A big fat dumb not-so-sexy beast. He’s like middle aged, going a bit bald, beer gut. His cult is really secretive, but he’s always got other guys coming over. They watch porn, seriously! We share a wall and we can always hear him jerking off. Squelch, squelch ahhh ‘Pass me a tissue’!! Lmfao They collect sexual energy and use it for...well I don’t know, bad stuff. We hear them talking about their sex rites too sometimes.
On the other side of the bathroom, is room 5. Clarissa’s room. Now that is one posh bitch, wrangled the quietest room of the house coz she works a 9-5. In real estate.  Haven’t got the friggin’ foggiest what she is, but it must be scary, coz all the others leave her alone. Even Tank. She made him do his washing up once. She’s got balls, I’ll give her that, even if she’s always giving me dirty looks. Whatever, your nose is crooked, jealous much?
So that’s us! Like the Adams family gone wrong.

September 6th
I am in such a bad FUCKING mood. He is such a prick, a goddamned idiot dickhead. We’ve just had a massive argument, I can’t believe it. I’ve been working a shitty shift in the cafe all day having norms demand and moan at me, getting grease worked into my pissing BONES so we’ve got a bit of cash to go out with tonight, we were supposed to have a good night out, get dressed up, get wankered and have a laugh, Kesh was coming out too. But noooooo, can’t do that can we? What I do isn’t good enough is it! For fucks sake! He knows I’m scared of him, I told him it’s going to go bad, once we’re in there’s no going back.
And before you think I’m some naive twit, I’m not! I know that we can’t live in normal society, I agree with Tank that they’re sheep. They can’t understand us, can’t accept us, so we hide in the margins, right? But we’ve gotta live to, still got bills to pay. Crap jobs are crap jobs, but it’ll do. But now he thinks Tank’s way is better. Dealing. Most supernaturals end up doing something like that, live in the underworld. The Greeks got that right. Where else are they gonna go? If some junky sees something they shouldn’t, who would believe them? If they dared even tell? Everyone’s scared. And now he’s gonna be doing it too.

LATER
I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I lost my temper like that. Baby I’m so sorry, I love you, I know I’m a bitch.
He’s explained it too me. Since he got sacked from the factory (it was moontime and he lost control, just a little bit, and hurt someone) we can’t afford rent. And it’s due soon. Tank knew this, he knows everything and offered to help out. He’s not going to do anything serious, just some sell some pills in the club. I mean we were going to be there anyway, and with Kesh we’d probably take a pill ourselves. He knows how they make me feel, we won’t be hurting anyone, just helping them fight the infection. See when you take them it makes your inner fire flare, you burn bright, so fucking bright. It’s beautiful.
We won’t be hurting anyone. Just making some money doing what we would have been doing anyway.

September 8th
Mysterious Reader
A little entry. : ) Alls well, peaceful. Shiverings stopped so we’re just chilling out, he’s downstairs making dinner for us. Such a sweetie. Had a fantabulous time out, it was a d’n’b night. We sold outa pills long before people stopped asking for them. Made rent and if we do it again next week we’ll have enough to get proper food shopping in! They were some good pills, came up in a proper rush, so much fire inside me I could feel it on the inside of my skin seeping out, I must of been shining, on the dance floor the whole club dancing, the bass thrumming inside us, its like we were all connected, one great big sweaty beast riding the drums outa the dark. He was right.

September 15th
I love him, but I hate this. Why does it have to hurt so much? I just wh

Sorry I had to. It’s nearing dawn, I’m so fucking cold and I don’t have a clue where he is. I don’t think I can cry anymore, my eyes hurt. Everywhere hurts. He hurt me, lost his control. Grabbed me, slammed me into a wall. Hit me, again and again, and again, then  he...stopped. I can’t believe it. It was a full moon, yet he managed to stop, to leave and find somewhere safe to change.  I know he can’t control the rage now, that it controls him, and he must love me to be able to stop. I just wish, I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.
I won’t be able to go to work in the morning, I’m covered in bruises, even on my face. And the cuts on my arms are still bleeding. I hope they don’t scar. Just what I need, more scars.

September 16th
He’s still gone, mysterious. And now the darkness is back, the infection stronger than ever, I can feel it crawling round inside of me, polluting me. It wants to pull me down, swallow me whole. There’s no light anymore, no hope.

September 18th
I haven’t been to work. How could I? They’re all infected.  I can see it inside them and they’re oblivious sheep. I lost my job. It’s thicker inside me now. I started my period and now my belly’s cramping, yet more pain.

September 22nd
Lovely Reader
He’s back again! I could dance, sing, scream I’m so fucking happy! I thought I’d lost him, but he came back to me, he told me he loves me, that he would never leave me to the dark. How could I have ever doubted him? He held me, and stroked my hair and kissed my bruises.
We talked about it, like proper couples should. He reminded me that I shouldn’t provoke him when he’s like that. Mmm? Provoke a werewolf during the moon madness? I don’t know what I was thinking, or rather not. No wonder I did rubbish in my GCSE’s. Then again that’s not exactly something on the curriculum. Something for the Coalition of Big Nosed Toffs to work on. Maybe we should send Tank to parliament to pass on the message! LOL
I told him I lost my job, but he’s ok with it, he hates the Turkish anyway. He said we’ll work something out, get some more shit of Tank if we needed to. I don’t like it, but if no ones getting hurt and we’re both outa work? We gotta get the mula in.
I’m going to get my shit together tho, I can’t believe how much I lost it, even got blood and tears in my diary. Gross! Gonna get cleaned up, go job hunting.
C’mon life, I’m ready for you!

September 29th
It so cold and rainy outside. Really bloody miserable. I’m supposed to go to the job centre but I can’t be arsed. I’ve been giving out applications, even had a job interview for poundland. High...shit, what’s the word? Aspirations. Yeah puke green is so my colour, and yes ma’am id love to work with a Cilla Black lookalike, a speed freak Cilla Black that’s been on the game for 40 years. Whooo-ooop.
As you can tell the job hunting’s not been going so well.
I do have something amusing for you tho. An episode of Barry the Cult Goon.
I was having a shower after the poundland interview, wrapped myself up in a towel when I was done as usual and opened the door to go back to my room. Outside was Barry the Cult Goon, in his grubby robe, loosely tied. Very loosely, he has huge nipples and his chest hair is greasy. Well, I hope it was grease, ew. His blubbery cheeks got rounder as he smiled at me, the whole time staring at my towel as if he could see through it, maybe he could.
The more he stared the more it felt as if my towel was getting smaller and smaller! I knew if I stood there any longer I’d probably end up naked, so I gave him wide eyes and slipped past his beer belly.
“You smell really good. Wana come sit in my room for a bit? I got some porn for your boyfriend, you can have a smoke while I dig it up if you want.”
I declined, so he panted up to me, standing too close, he reached down and undid his robe, the other hand leaning against the wall by my head. Then he showed me his head. At least I think it was a penis. This stubby, flaccid little pink thing, ringed in yellow gunk, nearly lost in a massive bush of pubes.
“You sure? Its good shit.”
I shook my head, and he pouted, looking like a fucked up version of Bambi. I slipped into my room and threw myself on the bed laughing so hard I cried.
October 17th
Really bored, weathers been alright so we’ve been in the park a lot, there’s a bunch of stoner Goth/Emo/Punk kids that hang out there, we sell them a bit off weed to keep us afloat. Things aren’t that great between us at mo, its just...I don’t fucking know. Shit. Sometimes I feel like my heart is full of the dark. I’m struggling lately.
October 31st
Its Halloween night, he knows how special it is to me, he loves me so much he brought tickets to go to a proper firework display! Can you believe it? We’re all going, the whole fucking house! We’ve all made costumes, I think you can imagine what everyone’s going as! It’s so fucking funny! I helped everyone put together their costumes, its going to be immense. I’m going as a witch, and Clarissa’s going as Little Red Riding Hood (her choice, I don’t get it).Tanks got a car off some shifter who owes him a favour, Kesh told us about this rave that’s going on after so we’ll all go there for shits and giggles and to make some mula, should be a big haul, its why Tank managed to get the car and is coming too. No one will fuck with us if we’re with him, he even gave me my own baggy to push from. I don’t think Clarissa’s going to be doing any of that but she’s up for a laugh, even let me borrow a dress. She can be cool sometimes.
My bf’s still fucked off with Barry the Cult Goon, but Kesh told him if he goes near me again he’ll rip his heart out. He meant it too, in some ways he’s scarier than Tank, he doesn’t shout or pick fights, just looks at you with dead eyes, like you’re just nothing, food. And he likes me. A bit too much perhaps, every now and then he’ll stand too close, or touch me. I don’t know it always seems to last just a bit too long. He’s seen him do it, but doesn’t seem to mind, and he hates other guys even looking at me, so I’m probably just being silly. Right?
Urgh, Clarissa just walked in (no knock, no nothing) said everyone’s ready to go. Then you know what she did, stopped a moment, obviously listening to the guys downstairs shouting over the music and getting a round of shots ready by the sounds of it, then she closes the door and sits on my bed, our bed, and says
“You know you’re not strong enough for this, right? You don’t have to hang around them, you’re a good kid, remember there’s always a choice. There doesn’t always have to be pain”
Then the condescending bitch smiles, pats my arm and walks out! Can you believe her? So much for being cool. But I’m not gonna let this ruin my night, I’m gonna have fun and she can just fuck herself!
November 8th
He’s out, had a run to do. It’s about 12, I think. I’m still naked and sweaty in bed. It’s been one of those days. We started in the afternoon; after we’d had breakfast, started to cuddle, then to kiss. Soon that fire was burning in us, I wanted him so bad. We tried every position imaginable.  I love the feel of him fucking me, his hard body covering mine, my fingers pulling him closer, his lips bruising mine. The taste of him, the smell of him, the sight of him hard, pushing inside of me. I’ve only ever been with him, he’s all I could ever want, how could I not love it?
He made me cum, its like my body stops existing, I can feel myself expanding, from his fingertips  an explosion of stars, flying free from this world, carrying me away. When I come back my body aches with the feeling, my face numb, all I can do is lay there beneath him, letting him take everything that is me, a moaning mess of raw feeling.
Exquisite.

November  11th
We’ve got some old school weed in, really tasty, and a bottle of Jameson’s from Netto. We’re supposed to be listening to some tunes and chilling out together, our version of a date night. Hang on...
Just had to turn the music up, they’re screaming now. Listening to The Black Keys, now gonna roll another J...Attack and Release...
This music is so good, you think it’s your favourite track, then the next one comes on so you think maybe it’s this one, then the next comes on... I’m really starting to like this blues stuff, goes with the whisky!
They’re still screaming, some guy tried to screw Tank over, so my bf’s gone downstairs to give him a bit of back up, the guys gotta pay up, he wanted the shit, sold it, now wants to pussy out of the deal. He’s obviously got a death wish. Hello, double cross a demon? I don’t think so...
Shit, things have got nasty, I can hear them, Tanks beating the living daylights outa that guy. I hope my bf’s alright. I wonder...Stop, girl, don’t think about it. I’m gonna roll another, two actually, he’ll defo want one when he comes back up.
November  15th
Peaches-Fuck the Pain away. I wrote the theme tune, I sing the theme tune, I live the theme tune.
Peace and Fucking!
Hey Daddy, want me to Suga Coat that for ya?
Kesh and I are going to start a Supernatural Street Countdown club, he reckons we’ll have to do Gangsta Sesame Street, A Prelude To Supernatural Street Countdown.
A is for Asswipe. B is for balls. C is for cunt. D is for Dick. E is for....er, er, er
November 21st
I’m so tired, had a busy weekend, we’ve made enough to cover rent though, any more will be for our daily needs. Like food. I’m really hungry, got the munchies something chronic, can’t be bothered tho...the house is so quiet, everyone’s out except Clarissa, and apart from her spike heels on the stairs, its nearly silent. A rarity.
MUCH LATER
I fell asleep after that last entry. Since then it’s all gone tits up. Really fucking mental, I’m still buzzing from the adrenaline.
A big BANG woke me. You know when you’re all fuzzy and you don’t realize? I just lay there for a bit, blinking. Then I heard BANG, SCRAPE, CRASH. My heart started hammering so I sat up. Was Tank down there? The darkness was thick in me, around me. Then I heard the voices. A man and a woman. No one I recognized. I walked to my door as quiet as I could, pressing my ear against it, like you do in the movies. SLAM. Gave me a fucking heart attack, that one had sounded really close, in the hallway. Clarissa’s door? I must have made a noise. Coz suddenly there were these big stomping footsteps up to my door. Silence. Or could I hear breathing on the other side? I held my own breath.
After a while they walked away again, the voices again, then that woman’s banshee laugh ripping through the silence, shattering it, the strangers pounded down the stairs, cackling, SLAMMING front door, they fled, shrieking into the night.
It took me ages to open the door, id tried to find something to use as a weapon and could only find a stiletto. As in shoe. A suppose I could use it against a vamp, if I was strong enough. Shit, shit, shit.
I stood there with the door open, listening as hard as I could, nothing except a faint dripping. I thought about just going back into my room, locking the door, and waitin' for the others to come back, they’d take care of it.
But I could see that Clarissa’s door was a bit open. So I called out to her. No reply. Quiet. Drip, drip, drip. I tiptoed down the hall, barely breathing, the dark choking me. Through the gap in the door I could only see a patch of white wall. I pushed the door open then jumped back, almost into the bathroom. But nothing happened so I manned up. I wish I hadn’t manned up.
The smell hit me, fucking foul like shit and steak. All over the walls was blood, words written in the blood, each letter bleeding long trails onto the floor. “Bitch” “Hore” “Rot in hell!” “death” . All Carissa’s stuff was gone except a few clothes and papers, which had been put into the bed, rumpled up with the covers, covered in blood, shit and piss. It looked like someone had tried to set fire to it but failed, a plastic lighter with doe eyed kittens in clown hats on it, was discarded on the floor.
I ran downstairs, gagging. It was fucking disgusting. Whoever did that fucked the kitchen up too, smashed the shared plates and cutlery, put the food in the sink full of..water. Really dirty water. More blood all over the cabinets, piss on the table. And, this bit freaked me out even more, pictures. From the rave, mostly of Clarissa but some with the rest of us too. There were burn holes where our eyes and hearts should be. My face stared back at me, black holes for eyes, scorches down my cheeks, heart burnt away.
I’m back, locked in my room, waitin’ for the others. I don’t know what else to do, they’ll kill me if I call the police and they find out what we are. Fuck, fuck, fuck I hope you’re not dead Clarissa.

December 20th
Dear mystery Reader
Sorry I haven’t been writing much lately, things went down the shitter after Clarissa went missing. She’s still gone, no one knows nothings. Just gone. Tank made us clean up, getting dried blood off isn’t that easy, it left stains behind, so we had to tell the Master Vamp who owns the house. He sent some zombies around to repaint. Secretive and safe, he was really pissed off. Barry the Cult Goon asked to do Clarissa’s bed. Asked, the sick fuck, I think he actually kept her sheet. Kesh...Kesh lost it a bit when he came in, his face went all rigid, he looked like he was either gonna kill someone or be sick, he smashed the window in the front door then left. All the blood I suppose, stirring up his instincts. Tank actually stood in front on me and my bf, in case he lost it completely. But he didn’t.
For a few weeks after that we laid low, seemed the sensible option, only just got back to work last weekend, I don’t know how the fuck we’re gonna make rent this month.
After all this doom and gloom, we decided we had to do something. So we’re having a house party tonight! You know a Christmassy one. Tank loved the ‘irony’.  Everyone’s coming, it’s gona be mental, Barry the Cult  Goon got hold of a load of mistletoe and tinsel and has been sticking it up everywhere, he needs it if he wants to get some action. Have to admit I’m pretty curious to see some of the other members of his Cult.
My outfit is supa sexy, tight little black skirt, and I found the see-thru lacy halter top in the charity shop. Kesh is going to lend me his spiky leather choker and cuffs, he said it will really set it off.
Oh yeah, my bf just saw me dressed up, he was totally hot for me. Ended up bending me over the bed and fucking me right there. Talk about starting the party off with a bang!
December 21st
Well last night ended in tears. Not mine tho! Overall it was a really good night, everyone got shit faced, we made a bit of money, and have got a ton of booze left. We tried MDMA, that’s like the pure form of pills, fuck me, its like God reached down, ripped the dark outa me and hit the on switch of the light. A big as a bonfire, brilliant. We pumped the music up so load you could feel it thrumming thru you soul man. There were a lot odd dodgy types there, a lot of demons, familiars, succubus, Cult members and vamps. Mostly guys, and a few norms thrown in to spice things up, they tend to collect norms with some phycic ability, so none of them were proper factory cut norms, you get me?
I felt like I floated round the party in my own big fluffy cloud, that would rub, rub, rub against my skin, making me all tingly. A weird side affect was I think I was wet all night! O_o Haha. It didn’t even piss me off when I saw my bf flirting with some trampy vamp girl.
Barry the Cult Goon was out in full force, he confused the hell outa me for a while he was like, playing butler! Getting everyone drinks, his other Cult members cutting lines, they knew I lived with him, so they cut me extra. A bonus for listening to all that squelching! Later on it became obvious, none of them are exactly lookers, but the more fucked the girls got the more they didn’t mind the Cult Goons having a feel.
Barry the goon had two girls at one point, one passed out in his lap, another doing coke off the kitchen table while he fingered her, her nose started bleeding so him and another Cult guy took them to Barry’s room.
That’s when things started getting a bit leery, mind you I was off with the fairies at this point, they’d got me in a corner and where putting glitter face paint all over me, while Kesh watched and laughed.
Some random witch started having a go at Tank saying his friends were evil, he was evil. She was really strung out, sunken junky face. Tank pushed her off him.
“Fuck off if you don’t like it bitch. You know what you’re here for. Nothing else but to be used, your a user, you know how it works. So get your saggy tits outa my space before I cut ‘em off”
Now she had some guy with her, stick bloke with ginger dreads, who just leapt on Tank, biting his face and trying to grab his balls. Tank fucking lost it, he screamed his demon roar and...shit, it was brutal. I’ve never seen anyone like that, he seriously laid into him, didn’t even stop when the guy was unconscious, and just kept kicking his bloody head in. My bf and a couple of other demons tried to get him to stop, so he just started hitting anyone who got too close. Then this older voodoo woman throws water over his head, muttering a spell under her breath. He grabs her by the hair, and she just looks at him, calm like. That was it, the junky bitch scraped her boyfriend up and some others helped her getting him out.
I was pretty mushy by this point, id just sorta melted into the wall, Kesh was stroking my leg telling me it was gona be fine. My bf bought a spliff over and we three shared it, clinging to the light.
December 25th
Merry Christmas Mysterious Reader xxx
December 26th
Yesterday was lovely. We had our own little Christmas, just us two. He’d manage to get a telly from some where! So we set that up, nicking some of Barry the Goons tinsel to wrap around the edge. He got me a couple of books. Fantasy Romance, you know kick ass heroine falls in love with a werewolf. Funny! I love that shit. I got him a new cap, its rip off Burberry but he loves it. We even made xmas dinner, a whole chicken! Frozen roast potatoes and veg and Yorkshire puds, with lashings of Bisto, mmmmmmmmmmmm! We even had a couple of bottles of wine and some brandy! Frikin' posh, huh? It was like a proper Christmas, we ate loads, got stoned, got drunk, cuddled in bed, and watched xmasy movies. Perfecto.
December 31st
Here’s an early Happy New Year oh mysterious one! : D
Just a quick one. We’re stupidly poor, might not be able to make rent, but we wont let that stop us! Hell no! Seeing the New Year in, in style, cruising the clubs, armed to the teeth with powders and pills, we should make a killing, and have a night to remember as a hazy dream.
January 7th
We didn’t make rent. Still haven’t. Everyone’s broke after new years, no ones buying. It all snowy out side, and dull, and freezing. These icy winds cut through you as soon as you step outside. I hate it, we can’t afford heating and I’m always cold. Got loads of my clothes on and just sit in bed with the duvet over me. He’s stuck in too with no runs to make, at first it was nice, watching telly together. But it’s getting harder, it’s all we fucking do. Watch telly, have sex (boring sex) and argue because we’re bored. Life is pretty wank.
January  12th
The Master Vampire came around today, he’s fucking furious with us all. Wants his rent, like yesterday, he somehow knew about the party and is pissed off about the breakages, specially the dent in the wall from ginger dread’s head. I don’t know what we’re gonna do.
January 14th
Kesh has been struggling with his blood lust, he hurt a girl last night, really bad. Tank found her in the hall, blood soaking her thighs, her face mashed up. I helped clean her up, and he convinced her not to go to the police.
My bf’s been in his room with him all day. Fuck I hate this. They have a plan, I’ll....I’ll help Kesh, and Kesh will help us. I don’t know if I can do it. He explained it too me.
Kesh is in love with me. He wants me, bad. When he’s with other girls it gets so outa hand coz he can’t just feed, he wants it to be me he’s fucking. For him sex and blood are all wrapped up together, it’s the only time he feels alive. He knows he wont hurt me coz he loves me, he knows he can’t be with me...but he wants a taste. To help him through it.
He thinks I should do it, thinks I should sleep with Kesh. Oh fuck. This is what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna sit here in the kitchen and drink this bottle of vodka, maybe it’ll make it all go away.
Fuck. Fuck . fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK.
If I do...it’ll help everyone, Kesh, those girls, us. He’s a friend. Can I do this? Us..what about us? Can we really survive this? Can we really survive me not doing it?
I’m feeling drunk, half a bottle down...the darkness is rising.

January 16th
He’s just paid the rent and gone to the pub. Good. I can’t look at him.
Kesh found me in the kitchen. I’d drunk most of the battle by that point, just sitting there with the window open, not feeling the icy breeze. Tying to be numb. He shut the window, zipped me into his hoody and rolled a spliff. We smoked it in silence, he offered me a little hex. I took it. He dint take one, just rolled another. We smoked that as I started to come apart, reality unravelling, he stroked my hair.
“You’re so beautiful, perfect, fragile, I’ve wanted you for so long, those other whores are dirt compared to you, I hate seeing you waste your blood. I tied to stop wanting you, but I can’t. Knowing you're just upstairs drives me crazy. Let me have you.”
I let him lead me to his room, stumbling into the walls along the way. Inside his room, warmth and dark. I lay on the bed as he undressed me, his hands touching my bruises, my scars. Kesh, no. Not kesh. My boyfriend, I lied to myself. When my trousers came off he grunted, seeing the fresh wounds there. His hands roughly stroking them, he became eager. I didn’t even notice him take his own clothes off, my head was spinning. He climbed on top of me, his hard cock shoving into me, his mouth at my neck. Not Kesh, not Kesh, not Kesh. I embraced the dark, let it wash over me, distance me, the real me, from my body.
January 20th
I’m fed up of showers, I miss having a long hot bath to soak all my troubles away. My inner fire is dying, like a candle guttering in a winter wind.
January 25th
I couldn’t find the energy to argue with him about it.
Someone new moved into Clarrissa’s old room. He’s...I don’t know; quiet. I don’t like him, his eyes smoulder when they look at me. He knows Tank and Kesh. I think he knows...He wants my ass, always stares at me like he’s hungry. He’s not a vamp, I don’t know what he is, he burns bright like my bf, so maybe a shifter. He’s a thief, they’re becoming friends, and going on a job together.
Just an off license he says. He doesn’t shine as bright anymore, he’s infected too now. Sometimes I think he’ll just not come home one day. I don’t want him to do it, but we’ve gotta make the FUCKING rent a-fucking-gain. Never ending cycle of struggling to make ends meet. And this is better than....
Why does it have to be so hard?
January 30th
The job went well. Can you call it that? They hurt the old Sikh man who owns the shop, I see his bruised face looking so bewildered and hurt when I got to buy baccy. He probably even knows it was them, but daren’t say anything. They wore banaclavers. They split it 60/40. 60 to Sly of course. My bf’s gone to pay the rent early, sorta sorry for last month.
I don’t think it’s a good idea going now. The moons full. He hurt me when he got back from the job. He was all jittery, buzzin’ coz it all went so well, his blood singing to the moon. He wanted to fuck to celebrate, but I couldn’t. We haven’t for ages...I said no and went upstairs. He followed me.
“What the fuck is your problem? You’re nothing but a stupid, ugly, ungrateful bitch. Do you know what I’ve done for you? All the shit I’ve put up with? You slept with my best fucking mate! Yet you won’t fuck me will you? C’mon you’re a natural, right dirty little bitch in the bedroom, I don’t ask for much from you!”
He’d pushed her onto the bed..tried to kiss me. I slapped him. Fuck I slapped him right around the face. Possibly the worst thing I could’ve done. He was so close I could smell is sour breath, watch his eyes, his pupils dilating, turning black as the darkness consumed him.
He broke my nose. I must have been screaming, I don’t know, I just remember his fists everywhere, when I tried to cover my face he knelt on my arms. Suddenly Barry the Cult Goon was there, pulling him off of me, shouting for Tank. I couldn’t see, blood had stuck my hair to my face like glue. A dark veil.
Barry the Goon’s hands fumbled around my neck, hovered over my mouth. I wanted to say yes I’m breathing, cock breath, but nothing came out. Darkness was eating my vision, taking me a little at a time. His hands wondered over my body, checking the damage. He sighed, a sigh that let me know I wasn’t too badly hurt. Then he started to play with my tits. I passed out.
February 5th
I wonder what dyings like. Do you ever think about that? Do you think you flare out, like a sun going nova? Overwhelmed with light. Or do you think the darkness gets you at last, your inner fire smothered, everything you are fading into the vast abyss?
I guess that’s how you become the living dead, when your fire goes out but you haven’t died. Is that what I’m becoming?
Or perhaps it’s all meaningless. Perhaps you just stop.
February 13th
Friday the 13th. I wonder if he did that on purpose. The Master Vamp came around today, two big black motherfuckers at his back. Like Marcellus Wallace does dweedle dum and dweedle dee. Gave everyone in the house eviction notices. We’ve got to the end of the month. Too much money owed, too much damage, fuck, too much hassle. He’s gonna sell the house.
I stayed in our room, I always do now, beyond that door is a world full of shit and now I’m going to have to go out in it. I don’t want too.
Of course they have a plan. My bf, Sly and Tank. Gonna do a job, a big one. Get enough money to make a fresh start somewhere. A bank.  A fucking bank. Not exactly oceans 11 are they. This is it, this time. I know it.
Game over.
February 28th
The heist was yesterday.
They left separately, to meet up somewhere else. Bought some matching black tracksuits and white theatre masks. Did some speed before they left. Tank got guns. Real fucking guns. Sly seemed to be the only one who knows how to use one.
I waited. And sweated. And waited. My healing wounds itching real bad. The fresh still oozing blood, so slowly.
I waited. Frozen. They should’ve been back. But they weren’t.
I waited.
My door burst open, and for a moment the dull ember that was my inner fire almost glowed. HE stuck his stood in the doorway. Kesh. It was dark now and he looked gaunt, frantic. Started shouting at me, grabbing me, trying to drag me outa the room.
I started throwing everything at him. Clothes, the lamp, my precious books. The bedside table. I saw my bf’s knife and grabbed it, thrusting it toward his face. He left.
So I sat back down, helpless tears falling down my face. No.No.nonononononononono nooooooooo.
Fuck. It couldn’t end this way.
It h..has.
They robbed the bank. The police showed up as they were leaving. Tank is dead. Sly took the money and ran...and....they caught him. Him. Mine. My bf. He’s been arrested. He shot some girl, and she’s dead too. He’ll go down for life. Prison.
Gone.
LATER
Kesh went. His stuff is gone. So did Barry the Goon. He said goodbye. Gave me a porn DVD ‘the tides that bind us’.
I just sat for so long. Numb. Cried out long ago. I feel worn out, stretched and thin. I imagine I’m full of little holes.
After awhile I wandered through the house, thirsty. I started getting up all the booze and putting it on the kitchen table, then the drugs, the smoking paraphernalia. I broke into Tank's room, and Sly's.
Tank had a load of cash, so I added that to the pile. And a fuck load of heroin. When did he start dealing that? Some 50 E’s, about 10 gram of coke, couple of grams of speed. Some vallys. An ounze of weed. He also had this really old looking teddy bear with mismatched eyes. I found myself carrying it around.
Sly’s room was stark. Some clothes, really basic jeans and t-shirts, undies. A couple of books, some dance and pop CD’s, a little loose change. Like he’d never meant to stay. He wouldn’t come back for any of it now anyway.
I’m sitting here staring at this pile of drugs and booze. I’m gonna keep the weed, I’ve just decided. Gonna smoke it right now and get drunk.
February 29th
I flushed all the drugs, left the money on the table, took the weed and the booze, and the bear to bed with me. Then I drank and smoked myself into oblivion. There’s only the dark now.
March 5th
Things have changed. I want to do this carefully, get it right.
Somehow I slept, probably passed out really. For a long time. I woke up when he found me. All the doors where unlocked, the house empty. Except for me in my bed.
The Master Vamp.
His cool hand rested on my head, as if checking a child’s temperature. When I opened my eyes and looked into his I started to cry. I don’t mean a few pretty tears. But sobbing, coughing, retching sort of crying, when everything else stops apart from that pain that you feel, where as much snot as tears run down your face. And he held me, took me in his arms and just let it all come out. I though at first he would feed, end me, take it all, I didn’t care. But he didn’t. He just held me and when I calmed he took me back to his home.
His home is this modern flat, done up proper nice, classy wood floors, moody warm shades of paint. Art on the walls. I felt like a hobo standing there, bruised and bloody, my breath still catching from the sobbing, stinking of booze and stale smoke. At my feet a black bin bag with my meagre belongings.
He ran me a bath, to the brim and steaming hot. No candles or scented oil. Just good clean, hot water. It was early morning, a rarity for me. The cold sunlight was that white sunlight you get at the end of winter, glaring off the tiles. I eased myself into the water, scalded, closing my eyes against the glare, against the world. I wept. He took the razors out of the bathroom.
March 6th
After an hour he walked in, softly. He was holding a big fluffy towel. I didn’t think you could really get those, thought they were just for telly. He might’ve knocked first, I don’t know.
I hadn’t moved, just sat there, arms around my knees, eyes closed.
“How old are you really?” He asked me.
For some reason I decided to tell the truth.
“16”
“And your name?”
I could hear him settling onto the closed toilet.
“Bea”
“Tell me, Bea”
I looked up at him. I felt so vulnerable naked in the bath, when he had all his clothes on. I felt raw. And I told him. Everything.
March 17th
He listened, didn’t interrupt, didn’t gasp, look horrified, or laugh. By the end i’d stopped crying, stopped shouting, stopped splashing. His shirt was wet and he’d hung his tie on the towel rack. By then I was speaking..In a monotone. Dead sounding. I dint like hearing myself like that. He washed me then, pouring water over my head, shampooing, conditioning, combing out my hair. I didn’t realise how long it had become. When I was clean he sat back on the closed toilet and spoke.
“I’m not a Master Vampire, Bea”
I didn’t look at him then.
“I’m just a landlord.”
My hands gripped the side of the bath.
“He isn’t a werewolf. He abused you. There’s no excuse for what he did to you. Kesh is not a vampire, he used you. Tank wasn’t a demon, just a very bad man who has died for what he has done.”
I couldn’t breath, the darkness burning my throat.
“Clarissa is alive, she couldn’t stand living there anymore, she paid her rent, gave me her notice and went back home.”
I looked at him then.
“The blood was pig’s blood. A nasty prank.”
He knelt beside the bath.
“Bea the scars. You cut yourself don’t you? When I found you I saw the razor blades. You made all these scars. These wounds.”
I tied to hide, but there was nowhere to go, I felt like I was shattering into a million pieces.
“You were right about one thing Bea. Magic does exist. And it can heal. Will you let me heal you, Bea?”
I went to him, what else could I do?