Really enjoyed this short story - this disjointed narrative style was very effective in conveying a sense of uncertainty and dread; I felt very uneasy when reading it. You set the tone from the outset and maintain it well throughout the piece. And, like every good short story, I am left with more questions than answers at the end of your narrative. It could probably do with another proof read in terms of spelling and grammar - but its a sound idea, very deftly executed.
Will we be seeing more short stories on the blog in the future? *hopes* -x-
Crimson- Thank you my lovely. So I used blogger spellcheck...which I probs should have done before posting, sigh, and it pulled up a few. Feel free to point out any that the various spellcheckers and myself have missed! When I read something over and over these mistakes tend to get autocorrected in my mind. Inspecter/or was just a mistake though...originally I had played with the idea somewhat and had 'Inspectre' but felt it was a step too far (?), which is saying something...
What did you think of the layered intersectional femiist aproach, the modern alt.noir and 'Fisher King' overtures? Work, not work? Too obscure? Suitably subtle? Annoyingly obvious and distracting? I felt that each gave a greater depth to the other, twisting meanings with perceptions.
Anon- Hello thar, thanks for the comment. Pity you didnt like it! Here I was breaking down the boundaries between/within poetry and lit. A subersion....and yes. It is very dense, and not something that you would perhaps consider 'easy': either in the form it takes or the subject matter. I did'nt want the reader to be comfortable, I wanted them to feel as fractured as the main character. I hope this contrast is clear when you read the mother's parts. She is stereotypically normal, average, understandable. She is the staus quo.
I get that it would work for some, and not for others. :)
Really enjoyed this short story - this disjointed narrative style was very effective in conveying a sense of uncertainty and dread; I felt very uneasy when reading it. You set the tone from the outset and maintain it well throughout the piece. And, like every good short story, I am left with more questions than answers at the end of your narrative. It could probably do with another proof read in terms of spelling and grammar - but its a sound idea, very deftly executed.
ReplyDeleteWill we be seeing more short stories on the blog in the future? *hopes*
-x-
overly descriptive language- i found this quite difficult to read!
ReplyDeleteCrimson- Thank you my lovely. So I used blogger spellcheck...which I probs should have done before posting, sigh, and it pulled up a few. Feel free to point out any that the various spellcheckers and myself have missed! When I read something over and over these mistakes tend to get autocorrected in my mind. Inspecter/or was just a mistake though...originally I had played with the idea somewhat and had 'Inspectre' but felt it was a step too far (?), which is saying something...
ReplyDeleteWhat did you think of the layered intersectional femiist aproach, the modern alt.noir and 'Fisher King' overtures? Work, not work? Too obscure? Suitably subtle? Annoyingly obvious and distracting? I felt that each gave a greater depth to the other, twisting meanings with perceptions.
Anon- Hello thar, thanks for the comment. Pity you didnt like it! Here I was breaking down the boundaries between/within poetry and lit. A subersion....and yes. It is very dense, and not something that you would perhaps consider 'easy': either in the form it takes or the subject matter. I did'nt want the reader to be comfortable, I wanted them to feel as fractured as the main character. I hope this contrast is clear when you read the mother's parts. She is stereotypically normal, average, understandable. She is the staus quo.
I get that it would work for some, and not for others. :)