Harsh staccato buzz, stabs
Fumble, Stumble
Big Little apendage blazes,
coruscating waves of red.
FUCK
Obsentities flee,
gunk ridden tongue.
Prickles march into blue snaps
Mint shrouded plastic
FRESH
(This little ditty (?) occured to me as i was attempting to apply make up)
Great stuff. I really like the sound repetition in line 2 and the broken sentence structure really conveys that disjointed morning feeling.
ReplyDeleteI particularly like your use of enjambment in lines 3-4 and 6-7. As well as added a good variety to the structure, it further illustrates the confusion that morning can sometimes bring.
The parethesis at the end of the poem make me see the whole thing in a new light, and imagine someone inadvertantly poking themselves in the face with a stray mascara brush. :)
Thank you! Im glad you see the dark humour in this.
ReplyDeleteThough i must admit i had to look up emjambment, as some dormant GCSE trained part of brain said "oops ive forgotten that one."
I guess reading all that Shakespear, he insidously placed the concept in my subconscious. Crafty old bugger.